Saturday, May 12, 2012

All NBA Probe Awards

We're smack dab in the middle of the NBA playoffs which also means we're in the middle of NBA awards season.  Many deserving (and some not so deserving) players, coaches and GM's will receive recognition for their work this season.  An All NBA first, second and third team will also be announced to recognize the best players at each position.  Rumor has it that the NBA is working on introducing some new All NBA awards and I was lucky enough to get my hands on the rough copies.  I'll include my thoughts on some of the selections


All NBA "Old Man Game" team

This team represents the idealism/charisma of the uncle who suits up to run a few while the burgers are cooking on the grill.

G- Andre Miller


Everything Miller does is in slow motion but is effective. Definition of old man game.

G- Mike Bibby











Bibby is a relatively new induction into this fraternity.  He's still learning to adapt to the fact that he can't really sprint down the court anymore without stopping to catch his breath.

F- Paul Pierce













A really great pick here. His whole career has been the epitome of "old man game" but he really elevated his performance these past few years. The use of the wheelchair back in the 2008 championship season was really a MVP performance.

F- Zach Randolph












Another good pick.  While Randolph has an amazing array of low post moves, his game rarely involves getting more than 6 inches off the ground.  I look forward to many old man years from him.

C- Tim Duncan














He really brought back the idea of old man game as a young person. Amazingly, if you look at his game in the late 90's, it's essentially the same.  Gotta love the commitment.




All NBA "Flop" Team

Ever since Vlade Divac came to the NBA, flopping has taken center court in defensive strategy. As the players have gotten more athletic, the fundamentals of the great floppers have just gotten better and the situations in which they try to flop, even more daring.


G- Chris Paul












He brings leadership to this team.  There is no one in the league who flops so obviously but at the same time remembers to ride the refs about their "missed' calls.  That's what I call court vision.

G- Manu Ginobli








Ginobli is such a veteran of flopping, we've almost come to believe that he is just a very unsteady person with low core strength.

F- Lebron James









You have to give it to Lebron. He just won his 3rd MVP. He's his team's best offensive player, defensive player and assist guy. He's also the team's best flopper and that's saying a lot when Dwyane Wade and Shane Battier are on the same team.  Most players would have just went down for the flop pictured above but Lebron elevated his game by running around the court grasping his neck until the refs felt compelled to call a flagrant foul on Chandler.  He truly sees the game at a level we can only dream of.

F- Blake Griffin












Blake has been victim to many hard fouls of late as opponents tired of being posterized on a nightly basis.  Griffin had two options, a) to toughen up and start playing with a chip on his shoulder, letting opponents know that hard fouls would be reciprocated or b) to exaggerate even the slightest of contact with the hope that he would never have the opportunity to actually be hit again. Seeing as how Blake went to OU, we all know which decision he made.

C- Reggie Evans

















Love this pick here.  Evans isn't the most talented player. Instead of chipping in to help by being a tough defender and rebounder, he decided to exploit the rules to help ruin the game I love so much. Kudos to you.


All NBA "IDGAF" Team

Here is a special group of players.  This isn't for the selfish player, or even the player that lets his emotions get the best of him.  This group of players show an almost sociopathic lack of regard for how their actions affect anyone else but themselves.

G- Delonte West










Yes, that is a picture of Delonte giving a "wet willy" to a NBA player during a NBA game. You would think  that would be his crowning IDGAF moment but you'd be wrong. He also allegedly slept with Lebron James' mother in the middle of the playoffs, was caught in bed with her by Lebron, and subsequently likely cost Cleveland any chance they had of retaining Lebron.  Classic.

G- JR Smith












This guy has never met a shot (or tattoo parlor) that he didn't like.

F- Metta World Peace













He previously fought a fan who he thought threw a beer at him (he didn't). Then he asked for time off in the middle of a NBA season to promote his rap album. He then changed his name to Metta World Peace only to elbow a defenseless James Harden a few months later. Nuff said.

F- Lamar Odom











An interesting pick.  He demanded a trade from the Lakers because they tried to trade him, he put so little effort in for the Mavs that the owner essentially told him not to come to work anymore, then he flew back to LA with a Lakers jersey on. Also he's married to a Kardashian.

C- Andrew Bynum















Love the youth pick here.  Bynum should be a perennial member of this team. He has no leadership around him and he has an inflated sense of self worth. We might be witnessing the beginnings of a HOF caliber IDGAF career. Stay tuned.


All NBA "He's Still In The League?" Team


I'm still shocked that some of these players are still playing.


G- Jerry Stackhouse









Every time I watched Atlanta this year, I had the same reaction: "Jerry Stackhouse still plays?" It's like my brain refused to accept that as true.

G- Shaun Livingston












Shaun Livingston came back from one of the most horrendous knee injures I have ever seen.  If you want to see it, you'll have to find it yourself, I'm not trying to look at that again. I'm happy he's back to being a productive member of an NBA team.

F- Luke Walton









Yep, Luke Walton is still playing. He made six million this year.  How can that be possible you ask? Because he is a veteran member of this team. GM's just seem to forget he can't play basketball well.

F- Kurt Thomas










A snub from the "old man game" team, Kurt Thomas continues to plug away under the radar being under appreciated as he has been for most of his career.


C- Brad Miller












I hear this decision came down to Miller vs Jason Collins. I was leaning Jason Collins just because he has a twin who is out of the league but once I saw this throwback picture of Miller with cornrows I had to agree.  I'm shocked Brad Miller is still in the league.


All NBA "Future Terrible Contract" Team

This team has nothing to do with talent. In fact, by definition, all these players are very talented. The problem is that they will likely be paid on potential vs likely production, giving them contracts that will cause many to claim they are over paid.

G- Brandon Jennings












Brandon Jennings is a scoring point guard who doesn't really make his teammates better and isn't good enough to consistently get his team in the playoffs in the East. He is talented though. And some desperate GM will likely offer him a max contract.

G- James Harden












I love James Harden's game and his being on this list is not any fault of his.  He reminds me of how people talked about Joe Johnson when he was with Phoenix.  I truly believe some GM will think that Harden can be their #1 guy and pay him accordingly.  He could easily wind up in an Atlanta type situation like Joe Johnson did when he went and got paid.

F-  Danny Granger











Par for the course. Great wingman. Indy has had success.  Will either get paid too much to stay or will get paid too much and leave. He can't carry a team but once that contract comes, he'll be expected to. Think Rashard Lewis.

F- Danilo Gallinari









I've heard him compared to Dirk Nowitzki more times than I can count.  He's not Dirk. His 3pt shot is very inconsistent. He doesn't score with the efficiency or ease that Dirk does. Some team will think that he has all the skills to be a marquee player and regret that decision within two years.

C- JaVale McGee












Remember Jerome James? Remember how he got that contract? He was a seemingly talented big man who just couldn't put it together until the first round of the playoffs. Then he had a great series for Seattle and got a large contract which he never lived up to.  The market for bigmen last year was 10-15 mil/yr. Expect McGee to make that much and then the team that pays him to realize that they just gave 12 mil to a player with no post game or offensive ability and questionable NBA IQ.

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